untitled
Consumed. This is perhaps the best word for me lately. And though i can not still declare i am a-ok, i know and am well-aware i’ve wallowed in my pitiful li’l world for quite a loong while. It’s time to smell the starbucks. Time to look out the window and see the scenery - a vast array of urban village rooftops. Or perhaps, tune in the television and watch - damn it.. unarmed activists getting hurt by the same men who sworn to protect.
I‘ve been hearing the news lately but it’s such a sad fact they so fit the comic books. Chopped arm in the streets, fetus found somewhere, a senator gone mad. I may not be the absolute current events authority but for sure, things been so wrong for so long now. I admire those folks who brave the streets and the unknown fate to voice out what they think aint going right. Because of people like them, there’s still proof the wicked system hasnt assimilated everyone. There’s a light at the far end of this dreaded tunnel afterall, hopefully someday, all with have the guts to voice out and act for true freedom.
And not just blogging. First, i was so consumed by my workflow, then my world got a wee bit smaller, succumbing to issues on self. I just hate it. Maybe i should accept the fact about my autism. At the very least, that would make me special, wont it? But no, as said this insanity of sorts got to end somewhere, someday. Amidst this predicament, i’m gonna use this space to give thanks..
Lord, Sir, i thank You so much and i owe You everything. I know i have never been the best of the herd, but You make me feel so lucky just the same. I barely watch the television but one time, You showed me this rural family- the father works so far away from them and have to cross three mountains just to reach the school where he teaches. So much sacrifice for three thousand pesos a month. Shame on me i’ve been aspiring more than my current salary. They were a simple family yet seem so delighted when together.
I‘ve dwelled a lot lately and somehow overlooked other folks who cared. Thank You for these people who never failed to try cheer me up or share an ounce of compassion. i’m sorry as well if i am at times naive or numb or insensitive. Thank You for providing me the confidants when i need them most. Thank You for providing me the oppurtunities to be with my mom and some other folks who i rather be with when i feel troubled. Thank You for letting me know i can be a friend and indeed have a handful. Thank You for getting me job and making me a better person by learning from them all. Thank You po for standing by albeit my pettiness. There are a lot of things to be done around the globe, yet I know You’re just here. I am so sorry i failed You a zillion times, I thank You You never left not once.
Just this past hour, while brushing my teeth, i felt something in my heart area twist. Hurt real bad, and i wasnt capable to move lest it’ll twist more. Not exactly the reason why i’ve been thanking. Just another realization, still thankful i had the chance to thank.
And yes, thank You for all the memories. Albeit poisoned by my thoughts they were beautiful and were indeed happy.
