marc’s so-called blog

‘Fword’ is for ‘favorite word.’ Fuck. I better tame my mouth, else i might just end up in jail. I’ve been spewing the word quite frequently in real life, and fuck! It’s really one nasty word i should avoid. I just cant help myself, even though i hate hearing it coming from m’mouth (note: hear, not write). Fuck.

Sunday late night and back to work i go! And back to bloggin’. Lemme steal a good thirty minutes as i put down my peso worth to writing before bouncing back to the ‘priority’ 3day sale mechanics collaterals (nope, i believe i had longer sentences). Let me give you a better picture of ‘now’. I got the sweety-sour strawberry/grape nerds on my taste buds; got the ever famous opm alternative tracks on a pair of ‘borrowed’ speaker; of course, got m’lenses fixed on the trusty monitor; and aside from the just-right chill of the ac unit, i can feel a minor facial discomfort- my mug’s quite red from acne soaps. Sheesh. La lang. Fuck.

What i’m supposed to blog about really was last night- the best ever night of my gig history! Yadayada? Nope, not your usual saGuijo ravings- ’twas still in saGuijo, alright, but nobody had a clue it would happen. Haven’t really checked saguijo.com for the gigsked, all i know was it’s the usual admit one production lineup. I thought it was a mere bonus fatalposporos was there, and the other original admit one band, victolicense, ithink. But no.. i was dead wrong when i figured cambio will just cap the night over. Too bad a few already left and missed the eraserhead remakes. NOt just one, not even two but a lot! All the guest bands and vocalists went on and on until three am performing eheads hits and the night was such a blast! Sandwich was practically on the floor, the vocalist of chicosci sang a couple, kris(is this the right spelling?) did great as ever, diego mapa was belting his own pedicab spunk into the hits, sayang aia went home early. Yes, aia of imago graced the night and did a short, yet very nice, second voice for twisted halo. Ebe of sugarfree on the other hand, coming from los baños and all, did great and we had fun everytime he’ll replace a few lyrics with ‘kutsara’ [(nakita ko na ang tunay kong kutsara (ligaya)]. One quick anecdote: i was on my way to the restroom and ebe was on the line. The lady inside took so long and his band was supposed to be playing already! Their sound engineer took his place and there went sugarfree sans the vocalist! As much as i say i’m tired of hearing them, since they been playing on  my pc at home and at the office for quite so long– they always and never fail to get me hook, outstanding trio. Remind me that next time i go to an admit one gig, i should bring along my sugarfree dramachine album i got last christmas, and a cambio album if incase i got my copy. Back to eheads night- it got me thinking, eraserheads is very much not about ely buendia. The essence of eraserheads flows right in their songs, lyrics and chords. Eraserheads hits are classic. Legendary if i may add. yes, i was tipsy after three bottles of san mig light but that doesnt justify my need to stand up and cheer with the rest of the crowd and shout ‘more’ and express my agreement how awesome they were doing. Astig talaga. Almost like a party with everybody on their feet dancing with the tunes. Not your usual rnb, hiphop party, of course. To think, atan thought thrice on coming over to guijo. No regrets and everybody went home smiling, we had our fix of music and chicka watching. ‘Had my chance to greet kris of cambio ‘hi’ and ask aia when they are playing again– these people are very much level headed, or they are not aware how awesome they are. Standing right at saGuijo’s door sure got its perks- we even stood beside atan’s talented drummer crush(for death by tampons and fatalposporos) and other, drip’s vocalist (hi drip!). It felt good spending a weekend back at saGuijo, each visit just turns out better than the last. ‘Never been a fan of similar places but i just know, saGuijo’s one of a kind! All-time stress buster… Next stop: folk arts theater, august 17.

I‘m raving and ranting at the same time. I got a new pc, or rather, cc as in ‘company computer’. Minor ravings and rantings actually. Sure, i rarely experience lag time because the machine’s quite fast now and i can finally say ‘multi-task’ a number of times in a few minutes. I can carefreely play freehand mp3s without thinking of sudden hang-ups.  I believe i can even dove-tail watching videos, but i rather not. Downside is, the machine drains me just the same. ‘Have to feed it crazy- work, work slave!’ Somehow, the cc makes me stretch a few more chores and time. I guess it’s not really for me to work faster, but for me me to finish the bulk of work. Imagine, now i can actually do three to four tasks at hand and the damn thing can hardly complain or blink. It demands more garbage-in. But anyways, as i’m been rambling for quite forever, my work flows almost unmanageable - explaining the mess i have on my table. And armed with my spiked starbucks, i brave the wee hours of the morning, i finish whatever i can. Crazyhead. And i ponder whether my milk intake results to my acne-pimple outbreaks. (it’s neither the milk or amino acids which are almost similar to creatas creatine)

‘iced caramel machiatto for marc’

There’s really something amusing about starbucks baristas. One time, as ‘noel’ of starbucks greenbelt was asking for my name, i said ‘marc’ then he went on saying ‘Oh, we have the same name.’ And i was like, huh? your name plate reads ‘noel’, who are you kidding? But he continued saying he was actually ‘mark noel’. Okay, fine. Then the amusing part, he actually asked me whether it was with a ‘c’ or a ‘k’. Funny, since it’s not everytime that a barista asks me how my marc is spelled. And though, in reality as i can remember what’s on my birthday and christmas presents, it’s ‘mark’. But i still, recently, i would prefer it with a ‘c’ (it’s ‘marco’, anyway), thanks.

‘iced white chocolate moccha (add a shot) for mark’

‘Wonder when the magallanes crew would ask me how it’s spelled. But then, it sounds the same anyway. At the very least, starbucks magallanes rarely asks for my name anymore. It’s not everytime i’m so popular. I’m famous ü. Infamoüs.

Hey, marc, get back to slavedom!

/seven/

And now with my remaining ounce of strength, i’m gonna put down some rants. I dont exactly feel cranky or bad right now, not that pedicabs’ on my ears– just want to settle a few thoughts..

But before everything else– OMG! I totally overlooked ‘BDO stand-Alone ATM’! I was accomplishing three of my other chores but I overlooked the one thing why i’m supposed to be here on a sunday! Fword. And then it reads: monday am. Fword! ‘Hope the design wont suffer, it’s supposed to be like some 3d modular and that always take so much time. >sigh<  Click you later, trusty notepad..

/quarter to ten/

So okay, that BDO thingie- it can wait ’til thursday, so i learned. Fine. Now, mental notes, it should look minimally futuristic like some spaceship and be really encased since all-weather daw. Too much for the five primary studies i had. I should make it really encased, much like a phone booth, or a portalet. hehehe Now, if can steal some sleep.. I’ll write down my hate notes on preggy ruthie some other time… for now, i just wish she give birth to a gremlin.

I almost die today. Rather, i almost get myself killed. Blame it on m’ lingering thoughts of drivel that kinda messed up my concentration. I guess I’m way out of focus that it got pretty dangerous for me to get back to lifting irons. But then, when is the best time?

Declined bench press, and my thoughts wandered off senseless that i lost balance- locking my left elbow low enough to make the bar touch my neck and making me toss most of the pairs of plates down the carpeted floor. It took me awhile to get back to lifting, that what i thought was my usual weights were actually a bit heavier this time around. Boo-boo. Well of course by now you are aware i wasnt hurt. The only part of me crushed was my ego. ‘Twas like the longest five minutes. With the noise i made, each pair of eyes was on me and i felt like i’m such a lost kid who doesnt belong there. I started questioning whether i’m supposed to be lifting and all. Fuck. But with enough boost, i finished my routine sans the apologetic attitude. Human as i can be, i guess. And once again, i’m typing away my shameful humanity for everyone who chance upon this scribbled junk. Then again, what’s new.

So what was i thinking? I really can’t pin point something but to tell you one, the television is best left at the living room. A television set in a gym aint that healthy and serves so much distraction. Of course you get to watch all the prime time kapuso productions plus the welcomed advertisements BUT THEN, the routines take a lot longer and all the people do is sit about and ponder at the idiot’s box.

SO what was i thinking? As a breather to all things politics, 24oras talked about an opening of the so-called first mood clinic in the country, at St. lukes hospital. They cater to people clinically diagnosed as depressed. Then the lady went on chattering the probable symptoms and those kind of persons prone to depression - talkies i wont be able to enumerate properly since i got such a dull memory. All that was left was how i felt the moment i heard dem stuffs. Silly questions popping as i went into self diagnosis– am i depressed? Silly questions since i know am not. I’m happy in a sense that i know i’m in a mere phase. Just that the descriptions the lady stated, i can’t help not see me. Attention and care deficit as a child. I think she mentioned broken family, or at least to similar effect. Of course, i like to think i’m not ultimately poverty stricken. Ah yes, depression is bound to be the prominent killer for the years to come as depression usually lead to fatality (say, suicide). Then atan came up to me saying ‘wag ka magpapakamatay!’ then acting out a guy getting crushed by his barbell.. Then, i moved to the aforementioned declined bench press. Whoa. Some nostradamus you are, atan..

ho-hum

I guess with all the political and economical trauma the country’s experiencing, to most, the best thing to do is to consult the mood clinic. But then, who’ll pay for the bill, jose pidal? 

A lot of folks are dying and i almost end up as a mere statistic, huh? As much i would like to put up a straight face when such issues come about, i can’t help not be affected. You know, everybody ages, and everyone will have their turn, but.. i hate the feeling that some will be not that happy being left waiting. I guess ‘cherish’ is the keyword. God, i know You take good care of them as well as You take good care of us who are breathing oxygen. But if you ask me, folks– i rather go ahead, but of course, not as in NOW…

I hate to think how charlotte might be feeling. One can only share enough ‘condolences,’ but for someone who lost a mom.. It’s hard to think maturely, in my opinion at least. God bless your soul missus..

d:p

Is this entirely my fault? I’m blogging right back at the office. I’m supposed to be at a wake but then the time aint permitting, and i’m supposed to be working but–surprise! Nothing on my table to prioritize. Aside from the fact i practically aint got the time, i am somehow losing the urge to blog on. But whaddaheck, i already jotted a few! ‘Sides what could possibly be more exciting than ‘escaping the clutches of death’ or funnier than ‘johnny bravo boo-boos’? Of course, why miss the all-time favorite ‘24hrs undergound ad agency misadventures’ plus the side stories like ‘clinical workaholiciSM’ and ‘whacked-out.’

And so i blog on…

Last week was the longest ever. A bit literally since i barely slept the whole twenty four-seven. Fuck, huh? Make that twenty four-eight. One saturday to the next. I really cant comprehend how. I know i was working pretty diligently but the garbage-in just kept on filling up! I wasnt that energized to even press the panic button. And for the record, i wasnt doing it on purpose, say increase my OT up a notch. Just the way things were and you can just imagine how systematic things are here at the office. And this one diabetic ae, she kept on passing me chores to do at very late evenings and she needs them the day after. Something like that. I barely got the chance to crank-up or complain. To think i already have a line-up of other chores then.

Ho-hum. Nonsense to talk about that shit, really.

I was joking one my superiors, that since i’m been tasked on so many stuffs, maybe they should be adding ’starbucks fee’ on top of my current salary. God, i’m back to being starbucks-hooked. I almost got to the point that i get panicky whenever i fail to get my starbucks fix. I’m drugged. Sure enough, i get to finish everything and almost everytime, the sun’s already up - leaving me no sleep, since i’m espresso-charged. I kinda ripped every cafe product they offer. Iced caramel macchiato- iced white chocolate moccha- rhumbo frap coffee based- caramel frap- iced mocha valencia- one for each sleepless night. And oh, dont dare forget that extra espresso shot for the kill. Whacked? Starbucked! (And later on starbroke)

Extreme balance i got. It’s either i’m utterly exhausted from work drivel or,i’m utterly exhausted attending gigs and supposed parties. Pointless. But at the least, i get best of both worlds. Scary, since it’s almost like apathy to everything else.

Of course i got my say on the country’s bleak state. But that’s the problem, everybody has something to say, yet only a handful got ears to listen. Maybe they should start using their noses and smell the shit they made of the archipelago. Too much time is wasted on nonsense and time is running fast we might become the next argentina.

Weniway..

SaGuijo’s first anniv is rated four compared to last week’s pedicab launch’s five (with five being the highest). I guess i’m not that ready to appreciate just any indie bands. And a boo-boo for saGuijo- why is hale on the list? I’m guessing it’s on purpose since we know how thick the crowd is when champ’s around. Only three songs per set starting from six pm down to the wee hours with about twenty-three bands. Not bad, really. And the crowd- yum, er cool! Chickas foreign and local swarm the place. But of course, as always, dr love, the shyguy fail to bring home someone or at the least get someone’s name and number. More boo-boos: i find the calamares a bit oily and they got no frap! I was way too sleepy, to stay up and with my beer in hand, i called a shot of espresso- is that dangerous? Well, more boo-boos for me: i lost a game of rock, paper, stones along with the prize shirt. So close! To think there were three of us from the start. Atan was lucky. he won a black shirt, although not that lucky since it wont fit him! hahaha Good thing i didnt stole it since the shirt was quite puny. 

Was i too tired to even enjoy? I guess on the later parts after imago. Imago. Imago! Damn, aia’s the girl to watch. Astig. Same awesome performance. Like their music is alive, an entity they’re in-synched with. Pedicab was bitin. These two among others practically brought the house down.

Again, we went straight to pier one. Fuck, sail away! Where’s the gaddam food! I was way too blacked out and hungry to check the party. I was even dangerously dozing in a cab that later on needed some towing. With He’s grace i once again got home unscathed. And yeah, my mom knows where i’ve been.

I slept empty stomached the whole eighteen hours of sunday. Then the trusty shawarma, a few carefree grocery, munched on then went back and hit the bed for another twelve hours or so.

I reached the office ‘late’ by six post meridian on a holiday. And for the record, the recent tuesday wasnt hectic. Somewhat a calm before a storm.

Better grab that milk and drink that sleep, hey marco…

This live music thing’s addictive.. man, got me all drugged. Orange and Lemons’ on and Hale just finished their lengthy and awesome set. Ah, yes - we’re back at saGuijo. Nevermind the place is too cramped (especially during Hale’s performance), this is one event i wont miss. The music pierces your cranium. Nevermind i havent started that BDO requirement due later. Later, since it’s past twelve midnight and hell with it. I really dont mind if this is gonna take forever. Hah, the crowd’s wilder with onl. Creative! Having so much fun- cliché cliché! But i am. And i dont have to be drunk to know so. This is the life. This is making more sense than the political predicament.

I heard we’re bound to a party later. Geez, wonder what time i’ll be at home. Fword here. Can’t stop thinking ’bout work. ‘Just that ‘have not a concrete picture what that bdo ad must look like. If onlys. Fuck new directions’ rotten idea of workflow and account management. Ho-hum.

Reality check: duh, i’m in saGuijo, why on this blue planet am i thinking of work and all those drivel? Hahaha So much energy for a mere hundred bucks, inclusive of drink (!). If the other party wont push through tomorrow, i might as well check out pedicab’s album launch. Guest bands are reason enough to do so. For one, imago’s gracing the night- ’nuff said.

Finally! Calamares! Somethin’ to eat! Lemme see, yesterday - the whole thursday - i gobbled up.. nuthin’ solid. Two big mugs of milk. Orange zesto doy pack. Jolly strawberry shake. And crispy fries! Yey, there’s your solid food.

/02:40; pier one/

Never been a party animal. Animal, i guess, but not party. Kewl place and pretty affordable. And yup, had another fill - another squid and fries! Haha, better than nuthin’, right? Crowd here is pretty wilder and the booze is somewhat getting into me - not enough to make me dance, though. Like saGuijo, beautiful creatures swarm the area, ‘just cant help not adore. >sigh< ‘Guess am still the observer like way back. Although am kinda getting the urge to get on the dancefloor. Hehe, ‘wonder what happens later…

/a while later/

Almost but not quite. I pseudo-danced for a shortwhile. Shame, shame. Plus, there went another cigarette stick burnt to the butts. Well, everybody’s quite sober now, few more idle moment and perhaps, off we go sailing home.

Not. After dining in a 24hr jollibee - fries as usual, and some ricemeal for a change - i practically spent my comatosed few hours on the road. I woke up in the van as the mr sun was starting to smile.

Morning - nature’s way of saying ‘hello, up you go. Here’s another day, prove what you got.’

Then again, thursday and this friday seem just one long day, i stole a few hours more and tried to retrieve some energy and tried to doze through the nagging hangover from three bottles of light/ a bottle of strong ice.

Whaddayaknow.. I regained conciousness by nine thirty, yet still aint got the energy to panic or even care.. BDO Cash Card, marco! Wake up, wake up! All should have been just fine. Damn ‘if onlys.’ i realized i’ve been working in new d farm for quite awhile, yet still cant be used to it - as i should have expected, something unexpected will come along to crank up my day, say megatrade’s national healthcare expo’s urgent silly requirements. Ho-hum. Ended up conjuring my hidden bullet-time layouting skill. Hate it. I started the darn thing, looking for images/reference, around quarter to two and i heard the ae needs them by three. Mission impossible talaga. Good thing everything turned out weird - ma’am was actually, for the record, in a good mood. That means no silly revisions bundled with the authentic phony smile. Then a few more petty revisions for nhe.

/seven post meridian/

My day is so far okay, ‘dunno ’bout atan though. Ey, i forgot to feed on something again. Darn, but how come i aint that hungry.. Hmm, my gastro make-up is mind-boggling me again.

moments later after following the white rabbit

Remind me not to dine at bk. Burgerking just no longer reign in my fast food list. I dunno, i’m just not satisfied considering the price versus taste and serving size. And i thought i was craving for onion rings. For a hundred and two bucks (upsized bk chicken blt) i can have two meal combination from trusty jollibee. I am not really a jollibee patron so you cant accuse me of plugging - unless, of course, jollibee will pay me a hefty fee ü ( hello sir caktiong, your Jollibee serves great food). ‘Just that their stores are everywhere, ’bout every other block.. Not by choice - just no choice. But, to be honest, a jollibee franchise is my ultimate goal. All in due time, hehe.

/saturn day/

There goes a phonecall from new d. But no, friday night muna.

History sure repeats itself, like, the day after. This time though, the party IS in saGuijo! Am not such a pedicab fanatic but they absolutely rocked the bar real good. Pedicab is best heard live. The beats. The wild crowd. Dance attempts. Head bangin.’ Too bad they only sell pedicab shirts to girls. Nevertheless the original band line-up pushed through with some additions at that. monsterbot. chili t’s. death by tampon (astig ‘to!). Of course. imago (incredible!). sandwich. Pedicab - galing ng album launch na ‘to.

I admit, i was there primarily for imago. Aia is one hot performer, even with a literally hot 38.5 fever. She’s quite sick so i forgive them for singing just three hits . Haha Those three songs pa lang, sulit na 100 bucks.

First time to hear death by tampons. Whoa. Creative, creative! I’m a fan already - yun lang, medyo manhater and foulmouthed. What the fuck - that’s just fine, right pekpek?

Sandwich, for the lack of better words, is outstanding. Sure raymond is in the weirder side, that’s just his spunk. I’m particularly fond of their song burnout, reminds me of puerto galera. Astig, to think it’s my first time to listen and watch them conjure a wild crowd. I shouldve paid attention to their albums before. Hot.

A night of more firsts. Ahgawd! I’m devirginized, local loud rock bands-wise. Yeah, ‘let’s fuck the dancefloor’!

‘Let’s kill the dj together!’

Wag, si trish ‘yun e. Awesome NU’s the morning show dj with a big… heart. And her wit is as spiked as her charms, naks. Way to go, knock-knock joker! Glad to know she hosted the event.

Wow! Like that, big smile. Now with teeth. Say ‘yay!’

Girly accessories, sissy mix and match dresses, capris and boleros - wtf! What am i suppose to know ’bout all these! Photoshoot for ballet flats under children’s shoes was on schedule, and it happen to be my layout so, no choice, i was to handle things. Everything went smooth, thanks to the all-time lifesaver spaghetti of bug’s. The kid talent was charming and easier to shoot, such a princess with a matchìng tiara. Four outfits, three general poses, under four hours, not bad. We finished right before she throw a tantrum.

i’m fucking exhausted!

Uh-oh. It’s another saturday and yes, you’ve guessed it, i’m staying over at new d. Uh-oh, again i’ll be working on a saturday night. Getting all blanked again, there must be some other creative outlet to refresh those c juice. Although, i am actually aware i’ll be here on this saturday that’s why i kinda made it a point to enjoy my weekday nights. Yun lang, to the expense of my energy levels. I’m fucking exhausted.

Uh-oh. It’s morning again! Never gonna catch that sleep. Fuck, why am i so fucking dedicated. Hinde, hindi pa naman po nabili ni molina ‘yung kaluluwa ko. Crap, still got two-four chores due for monday. tomorrow. Pathetic. I can’t even blog. Or surf the web. Or get laid. As if..

It’s stupendous how i ecstatic i get with a single serving of a montalban shawarma. Ecstatic, almost mind boggling. Because i’m actually on my way to work - nothing odd really, it’s just that it’s saturday night. Now there’s something new with work to write about.

Spent my whole saturday sleeping and claiming my lost hours the recent week. I guess i’ve been working ’til four a.m. onwards for three consecutive days. If you’ll count the friday night out with friends, that’ll be four straight days of irregular sleeping habit.

Friday was my consolation for working so (not by choice) hard. The Sinister Six went out and watched Fantastic Four. The movie was great. No matter how cliché that sounds, they practically gave justice to the whole comicbook-to-movie flick. FF movie deserves rave reviews. The only thing i can comment on is the story is quite fast-paced. The characters went to space, got back, get accustomed with their newfound abilities, became public, beaten the bad guy, and became an established superhero group in what seems like just a week. Kinda makes you ask for more or at the least, watch it again. But then the six of us, ‘Mazing Marco, Adherent Atan, Brazen Bare, Ammunition Alan, Jerkin’ Janssen and Klark Kent, found it way too late already. We just decided to thrash greenbelt’s peace instead. Chats. Girl gazing. Stand up comedies. Staged quarrels. We ended up at mcdonalds and gobblin’ up a second dinner.

I‘m totally not in working mode. And so i blog.

Going back to the movie, I’m such a sucker for comicbook superhero flicks. So me liking Fantastic Four and similar films is a giveaway. I’m so fond of comicbooks then especially marvel and some manga. of course you’ll always find me lining up for similar movies but i just noticed, there are so many of them already and the idea is even swamping national television. I’m not against it, nope, ’sides such flicks showcase so much creativity and technologies. What before seems only possible on paper and paint now comes alive and dynamic. I sure adore the effects on FF’s human torch (contrary to bare, he loves chris evans). With all these superhero blockbuster, i sure hope i can propose to hollywood - the silverscreen needs a spoof like scary movie and not another teenage movie. ‘Not Another Superhero Movie’ or ‘Super Movie’ or ‘Heroic Flick’.

Shit. I just gave away my million dollar idea.

…

simplicated

No matter how complicated this may sound.. Life is can be simply simple. As some devoted christians preach, life is best spent simple. One can be happy with all simplicity and doesnt have to indulge in whatever complexities this mortal world offers. True enough, a singer can sing songs about singing; a writer writes prose on writing per se; the newsmen report stories about fellow mediamen; (sadly) politicians indulge in politicking; and a blogger like myself blogs senselessly about my own blogging.

Now that’s out of the way…

Hah! There’s still something to blog on afterall. ‘Just recently, work flows smooth amidst the usual pangs. I barely rant about it, i’m comfortably fed up so to speak. And as predicted it’ll be normal given the right time. Normally crazed advertising agency. And so blogging about work - not my cup of tea lately (you just did, dimwit!). Maybe later when something more uncanny happens. Something exciting than laher’s blunders. Or darna’s impossible demands.

Reading my own writings, it is a lot exciting when i write about my office rage, my motel misadventures, and those other stuffs that involve sex and pain (mostly in separate blogs). I guess readers are thrilled when the protagonist is in turmoil, honestly reflecting his own humanity - weakness and all that’s shameful. Well at least, for a good fifteen minutes or so, i had my fame and you enjoyed the reality tv.

…

myspace out

This doesn’t feel right. Am definitely not in working mode just yet. Somehow i havent bounced back to my so-called enthusiasm - no thanks to hours and hours of worthless myspace surfing. Now i feel obliged to finish an artwork because of a pesky monday morning deadline. Wtf. Art, even for advertising, cant be rushed and is better done under a relaxed mood and open mind. So okay, i had too much myspace.

I just recently circumnavigated the web and ended up rediscovering myspace. Myspace is very much like space indeed. The site is so vast and links are, to say ‘aplenty’ is an understatement. Lo and behold! Some people there got hundred thousands of friends, sometimes even more. Dont dare open those friends’ spaces or you might end up bogging down your computer’s system. One can comment on pics, too - serving as more links. Censorship is out of hand if it ever exists (oops, ‘just gave away a clue). Myspace is one gaga-galaxy.

So how did i ever go astray from my friendster loyalty.. Sheer curiousity. The usual links led me to a myspace link i can only open if i sign up. But no, ‘got no plans on managing it, that would be utter insane. And though insane is such my character, I’m cool with my friendster account and myspace is just my biatch.

_______________

Just been thinkin,’ marc spelled backwards is ‘cram.’ And it gets better, marco spelled backwards becomes an exclamation - ‘o cram!’ I guess, after all my supposedly  strategic time management, i am destined to rush things and do cram.

Crap.

On the lighter side, i came across blogthings. Silly i guess, but if you do have some idle time, it’s kinda fun to know your name’s counterpart. There’s also this penis name, hehe. Funny one of my name combination turned out - dont laugh - ‘little juan.’ So much for ‘don juan de marco.’ BUT on the contrary, i’m usually ‘ivan the terrible.’ I know ‘terrible’ is not the best adjective there is, at least it sounds huge.

…

things to do on an elavator (stolen somewhere in myspace)

1. As the elevator rises/drops through each floor, scream the number
of the floor out loudly as it lights up on the meter.

2. When the elevator begins motion, yell "We’re gonna crash!!!" as
loud as you can.

3. Ask another passenger, "How many people do you think have died on
this thing?!?"

4. If they give you an answer, start banging on the door
screaming "I don’t want to die!!!"

5. If there is only one other passenger, move up very closely to
him/her, leaving a lot of space in the rest of the elevator.
6. Stand in one of the corners staring at the wall, humming a tune
loudly.

7. Stand at the door, and when people try to get in, stop them and
say "Sorry, this elevator is for display only".

8. When someone is getting out and the door is closing, yell "Sir
you dropped something".

9. Drop something on the floor, and when someone trys to pick it up
for you, yell "You can’t have it! it’s mine!!!"

10. Put a walkman with headphones on, and start singing a song at
the top of your lungs beside the other passengers.

11. Stand at the side of the door, and when passengers get on
scream "Boo!!! oh..I thought you were someone else…"

12. When another passenger gets on, quickly sit on the ground cross-
legged, screaming "You ain’t taking me away again!! I’m staying
riiiight here!!!" until they get back off on another floor.

13. When people get in, smile at them the whole time, ignoring them.

14. Stand at the door and when people leave, yell "Thank you, come
again!" in Apu’s accent.

15. When people get on, press all the buttons, and scream "We gonna
go for a ride!!" in a hillbilly accent.

16. Sit in the corner and stare at someone until he/she leaves.

17. When people get on, pretend you are sleeping, and when the door
shuts, yell "Awww, crap! not again" then pretend to fall asleep
again.

I‘m supposed to be raving. ‘Finally finished paying for my phone installment, and somehow, there aint a vapor of excitement in the air. Well, the big chunk of my debt is settled, but ‘just cant see pass the other gazillion stuffs that need attending. I can only spare so much for so little, ‘need to be keen with my expenses. I’m such a lousy auditor. The longer i figure where to spend my earnings, the sooner i realize i got no more bread to slice. Time runs so fast, it could’ve better if it didnt have my salary in its socks.

Of course, i’ve my phone with me. And it serves its primary purpose..make a call, duh. But wait there’s more, if you read on for the next twenty minutes, you’ll know, it’s one amazing toy! In well-lit conditions, the 1.3 mega pixel is okay; it plays a few mp3s; it’s quadband (as if im a worldclass traveler); it has impressively useless 3g technology; it can get mono-noisy at times; play and pass on porn; record your colleagues’ complains (but of course, the one minute bracket aint enough and it’s more interesting to capture those gestures and expressions-hey, maybe i can use the 1hr video for that); blogging has never been easier. Plus, it can even send the oh-so famous sms, mms, pms.. No matter how i justify my phone versus its fast downgrading features and price, i spent half the year paying for a TOY.

Dont get me wrong.. I was more than blissful when i first got m’phone. And though you may not find me jumping for joy now, i’m ok and somehow bear with the fact, that my phone was a mere step of the steadily advancing technology like nokia’s. Stealthy and cunning big companies like Nokia will alway have the last evil laugh.

What have i just wrote? A human display of insatiability. An example how a man, no matter how blessed, manages to ask or look for more, vying for pseudo-perfection. No matter one will deny, everybody at some point is guilty. I for one find myself sourgraping without me realizing. Now, why all the sudden am i tagging all of humanity in this petty psychoanalysis of mine? I’m human afterall. Yes, to my own shock.

But as i’ve always felt, to be content at present is one, and to be satified knowing you can be better is another. You cant just stop and be happy -  actions and events are necessary to feel you’re alive and breathing. Feel life. ’sides, Time is in the marathon, too. Run your life, then be happy.

Of course, material attachment, is something we must unlearn. No matter how light-weight they may be, they hinder your life’s run. Life is best ran stark naked.. well, at least figuratively.

I‘m such a contradiction, i think.

…

there’s a name for that

Just recently, my colleagues coined me another codename. Dr. Mood. Ah, yes another villain’s name, forged after the upcoming Fantastic Four’s character Dr. Doom. How apt. For a change. my crankiness is highlighted this time. I’ve been Senator Patpatine and Commander Grievous (because he coughs a lot). My officemates sure had a hell of a laugh time then. Of course i didnt hurl another tantrum spectacle, i was actually laughing along each time.

Now yesterday is so odd, it’s almost laughable. I didnt get downright pissed. Well ok, just little. But not an evidence. I’ve actually contained myself from my colleagues’ inconsistencies and usual moronic stunts. Yep, i’m improving, baby! I dont recall taking any uppers, but i was sure on the hyper side, and boy, i laughed quite hard everytime i do. Not exactly the Dr. Mood they’d expect.

Hmmm

Suddenly, the question on sanity floats in my head: i’m supposed to be cranky and crabby and unpredictable. Oh no, i’m starting to be normal! Argh! That’s boring!

OhGawd! It’s six and i’m still bloody bloggin’…!

Oh. Things will be just fine after all.

Looking back, i guess i sure was a troubled teen. Rather, a kamikaze youngster. Suicidal, you can say that. For such a tender age, i was torn between depression and anxiety, add that to fact i was not at all in good terms with my older bro and my mom, let’s just say her naggings made me confusingly nuts. Not really healthy for my fragile self-esteem. I was shy to an extreme point, that i was merely an observer during my early teenage years - i barely participated, barely spoken a word. If in case i did, it just feel so awkward and wrong.

Right. That was me looking back. These days, given the right situation and mood, i say i’m quite the daredevil. I dont know, i guess it took only a day, i just snapped out of my stupor. I woke up thirsty for a difference.

I‘ve always thought, when i was younger, i wont gonna make it to tweny-one years. I better do those stuffs new to me before i reach that age. I was in a hurry, so to speak. I was in a hurry to be an adult since being a kid is such a traumatic memory. New stuffs, adult stuffs- stupid stuffs adults do. And so before twenty-one, i smoked, drank, doobied watched porn and did whatever. I even made the oddest difference, i made it to the dean’s list - almost each time.

And i was wrong all along, im now twenty-two. ‘Looking forward for my, hopefully more meaningful, twenty third year. I am learning so much. And though am still not afraid of Death, i sure pray she wont cut my strings too soon.

‘It’s beautiful to be alive. It’s wonderful to live a life.’

College was good, opening my eyes and mind on so much views and oppurtunities. It was a new start, but nevertheless, they can only teach the basics. I’ve so much in mind to pursue. For the meantime i’ll regard them as dreams - since with dreams, there are no regrets only happy thoughts.   

Driving lessons. Web design course. Commercial film making course with marilou diaz-abaya’s institute or abroad. Advertising classes abroad. Painting lessons care of aileen (hihi). Speechpower and personality development course. More and better gym routine. Dental, dermal, and health improvements. Voice and guitar lessons, haha. Wushu and Capoeira classes.

Happy thoughts to fly with - that’s what my dreams are made of. And i’d keep on dreaming until i realize i made them realities already ..

…

I was stood up. To start with, it wasnt my idea to go out. Such a lame attempt to cheer your peers, an empty invitation so to speak. I guess purely coincidental, but nevertheless too last minute.

I started my day getting all cranky with the noisy little ae’s girls who mistook the room as a freakin’ playground. The shrieking, the jumping all over the room- i could’ve bear with it, honest. A mere domino effect of me getting real pissed with how-would-her-poor-kids-fare-with-a-stupid-and-phony-pregnant-ae-mother-like-ruth-laher. I was ‘asked’ to direct a photoshoot for a layout - to my last minute surprise - not my work. Then she goes delivering the lamenting idea she dont feel well and if i can manage without her. Duh. As if there’s something i can do if she dont feel like tagging her ass along. Plus, she’s practically a useless whiner(i think the only thing she did that passed as ‘helping’ during the whole shoot was fixing a couple of shoelaces, di pa nga e). No thanks to my straight forward royal crankiness, the bitch tagged her bulging baby house along. I’ve been to photoshoots but this day was a day of firsts. First to cover for someone else’s work. First shoot that involves a caucasian, wacky and moody kid talent. First to personally meet equally charming and young client aes as i am, though they are of course females (and façade). I braved the supposed fourteenth hour engagement with an empty stomach, stupid me. It took, i think, about two hours before the roster were complete, they came in trickles. I dont mind covering for some colleague’s back, it’s work-work to get done and over with. Actually, it even made me ponder how a single charming li’l boy can earn something for a living. Of course, i’ve never been good with kids, especially for second language speaking kiddos. I guess all those times we spent amused and pissed by little william’s unpredictability, we should have considered his side- he’s too young to be serious, and already vulnerable to stress.. he’s been an SM talent since he was two..! He kept on complaining he’s ‘already tired’, ‘losing his pressure’ and ‘cant stand it anymore’. Who can blame the kid, six poses with a series of option shots in THREE outfits. Six times infinity multiplied by three - do the math. Of course he was paid, but then that’s his mere consolation. We finally wrapped things up around five, and i topped it off with me gobbling up two rounds of pasta. Then the irons welcomed me back at dencom.

I lazied off browsing books at powerbooks greenbelt. Franco’s texts on a night-out came on. I actually became franco and atan’s communication bridge - relaying the mechanics of the supposed party or saGuijo trip. When atan finally texted back, with much enthusiasm and excitement, franco had a different happening that sorta spoiled the night-out. But nevertheless, no hard feelings from me, no sir. Of course i did spent a couple of hours waiting for replies and stealing a hundred or so bucks from me while i stayed and waited at starbucks. At the very least i spent and enjoyed my starbucks stay reading jessica zafra’s tw7sted words. I was preoccupied and was only half expecting things will push thru.

And it did, i went to saGuijo with all my lonesome without a single inkling which set of bands will be featured - or if there are actually bands, for that matter. True enough the place did have live music albeit by those nameless to me. Even so, the music was okay though unfamiliar nga. And my gut-feel was right.. I’ll meet someone familiar from the past before the day ends. Max quijano, a batchmate from high school, was in saGuijo with his friendly girl, who i forgot the name. They happen to be my ticket for a good seat. ‘Really not the place to chat, the music’s way too loud.. ‘Sides small chats can suffice, nothing really exciting to share.

Aside from the fact i flushed a shitload of my earnings this night, i came to a conclusion: all those gastro fill i had-the other night’s raspberry vodka cruiser and bottle of san mig light, two plates of pasta, spearmint tictacs, twopiece burger steak, large fries, strawberry shake, a couple glasses of cola, a couple bottles of beer- made my gas real dangerous.

Also for quite a long while, i smoked a stick ’til my fingertips feel the burn. I walked away from saGuijo under clouds of gentle rain. Again, during the blurred time between yesterday and today.