marc’s so-called blog

You’re such a naughty boy, marco! momma told you to buy wheat bread from the nearby grocery and go home right away. here you are still posting some silly bolgs. Bulgogi. Shit i think i’m hungry now. What a lousy day! Or more accurately, what a God-thank-You-i’m-still-alive-today kinda day. From now on, no more childish complains about the littlest stuff. (i’m not being sarcastic, Thank You  po nothing serious happened.)

It was morning and was time to get up when i figured: what is instore for me today? ‘Finished all my requirement at work yesterday, and i still feel so rest deprived. I’ll call in sick and get that rest i’m so deserving. Kahit half a day lang sana.

And so the adventure began. Granny said rules are rules and one rule she said is, if you’re sick, call or text Ma’am Miles AND show the required papers when you get back. And so i approached my ever trusty physician after i had some lazy rest at home. I went to her clinic. Which was inconveniently located at Caloocan. It was getting late so i said to myself, it’s of no use so i’ll absent the whole day and attend a personal errand. ‘Had to renew my pawned cam-now or pay penalty fee later. i rode another MRT ride to work to meet atan and get the said pawnshop receipt. Stupid me.

It was still broad daylight and climbed up the stairs of the infamous Mantrade over pass. I came across a couple squateric teens eating bananas on stick. Eye contacts. My instincts told me to run ahead, but the hell! It’s broad daylight what in the devil’s name can happen? it didn’t help that the silly hair i’m sporting narrowed my ever poor peripheral vision. The next thing i knew, one guy is grabbing me by the neck.

"Holdap ‘to, Brad."  It was the first time i heard it so close to my ears. It is actually happening to me like some freaky local movie. Sure i heard other people talk about their similar experience, my own brother not exempted- such messy couple of experiences- but me? I am hold-up proof. I don’t flash a sliver of evidence that i carry any valuables. And so i thought. Are these guys kidding me? I won’t think I carry any money or whatnot. 

But fuck. I did manage to free myself from the grip. Good thing the monkeys are not armed with their bananaque sticks. Still grabbing and snatching my slingbag. I shouted: WALA AKONG PERA. Putang ina mo! Promise, it scared me. And the guys just loosen his grip on the bag. But no, i didn’t run for my life after that. Still that quick walk.. I wasn’t that scared, rather, it made me furious. and all those stuff got me thinking..

We’re they trippin’? Was this a lesson for lying because i wanted half a day of rest? Was that karma? Do i look robber-worthy? And fuck, were they able to grab something from that close encounter? I had my salary, barely touched and still in the envelope, at my back pocket, a coin purse with bills on the left and my dear phone on my right pocket. The money was meant to pay a fraction of my phone debt. You can just imagine how miserable i would have been. Would. That’s why i’m so thankful they were a bunch of idiots. And i’m such a good liar. Yes atan, i’m a liar as well.

Is it plain stupid to guard your phone and other valuables with your life? Will i fight for my 6630? Will the sole evidence of my hard earned earnings be easily taken from me? The answer is i don’t know. i’m grateful i didn’t have to find out.

Happy ever after? It’s life and i’ve to deal with it. Sure i got Mantrade-overpass-phobic, but the real scary part is people like those are always at the prowl in some parts of the city. And i barely did a thing. Nobody hardly cares. Why do they have to behave that way. What do our society missing on? Is violence an answer? Is revenge necessary? I’m just thankful for the nth time nothing terrible happened and i’m still capable of babbling about it. ‘Heres hoping no one crosses that dreaded overpass. I won’t.

Don’t be a victim. Stay safe. Robbers and the like bask in the sunshine of day as well. They’re not nocturnals after all..

It’ll be such a lost for the company. But no sir Max, the decision is solely yours. Finally you can unplug from NU D and breathe some fresh air. Whatever it is you’re facing ahead, there’s no mistaking you’re going to make it big. Such a guru armed with all the talent. Sabi nga, mabuhay ka. i admire your skills and principles and don’t forget, how you can bring laughter to a stressful day. Witty. Candid. Strong. Maximus. This no goodbye, no sir. Tatalunin pa kita sa Soul Calibur 2! Godspeed

Filipinos are pure talent, don’t you think so? Arts. Literature. Music. MUSIC! My one big frustration. I may not be capable of carrying a simple tune, i may suck at playing musical instruments, but i sure can tell a good piece when i hear it. What’s been in my playlist for the year are locals. Astig talaga. I’m such a late bloomer when it comes to local alternative music. For me, it all started with Imago, courtesy of sir max, then sugarfree, cambio, kitchie, session road, orange and lemons, radio sago project the list goes on. Then comes the other bands mostly indie. i actually traced it full circle rediscovering PWU bands anew. Siempre Kidlat Club, Lysosome and the likes. Have you heard these guys? Such powerful voices and creative notes. Astig. Especially when we got to go to the previous NU Rock Awards. I get to see dear Trish (of NU’s the Morning Show) again. Had such a big crush on the girl. Witty gifted gal.   
Right now, i’m listening to a couple of session road. milk n money, hale, spongecola, popfilter (which sound oddly like sugarfree), narda.. if only i can fit more into my phone- i’ll put albums and albums. MYMP is cool also, light and just right. But they have to give way to the full volume artists i just mentioned. Hale. Sounds so foreign it gives me chills, such a good piece (broken sonnet). I’m thinking now whether i’ll put more of imago. hehhe, i actually played imago a lot way before their mtvs came up. Aia got such a powerful, powerful voice. Simply awesome. Akap, Taning, Idlip, RainSong, Bihag. No wonder there so many Aia aspirants, so i heard. Aia and the rest of imago, you’re so blessed. And so are the rest of your listeners.
Bottomline, no matter how rugged the path Filipino artists may be taking, their talents shall shine and will be heard as destined. No matter how small they seem to start, the word shall spread, and people will be looking for them. And they’ll all agree later: Wow. Astig.

Pardonez. Did i just said that? I’ve read my own blog and can’t help but notice the negativity. Fuck. Hell. Those words and the like. But then again, i rarely use such in real conversations so forgive this blogger who usually get short of better words.

Anyway, it’s been a hell (oops!) of a day, quite literally. And my room-agh!- can’t be any hotter. Like some sauna (as if i’ve been to one) with the heat turned on high. Shheesh, please i don’t have the fats to burn! Or it’s just me? You see, i work in a place that sometimes just as freezing cold as Hades..
It’s been a so-so day. But also another day i get know me better. I fall for people easily. And that i practically eat my own words at times. And, i’m such a sucker handling my own financial reserves. Nothing new, really.
People are kind because they ought to be, not always because they want to. Sometimes they are trained to be courteous, due to their calling. Then i keep on guessing.
I sometimes struck people as a mature person, serious and quiet. But i figured, sometimes, i’ve a mind of a kid. Trusting, ignorant, silly.
How did your childhood went? Me, i barely get to gather happy memories, nothing significant  floats in my head. I was a kid and was already conscious of what i should not act. I was a shy kid. Then i was a troubled teen. Only when i went to college that i was able to gather me together and  build some self.
Funniest part of the day, or rather odd, right now, i find myself typing in front of my office computer. I ended up in the office after all and even went to starbucks when i said earlier i won’t. Marco, you’re impossible!
Happiness is a state of mind, i guess. I sure miss the days when the mere rising of the sun amuses me and figuring the stellar graffiti at night excites me. I guess that’s what work do to you. I wake up and turn on my PC. At night, i turn the machine off and hope i get enough rest. I’m happy about myself now though. It’s just thrilling to realize there something more i can do and much more i can accomplish. I can be better. Simply a matter of time. I’m just immaturely impatient.

I had this dream. I was flying and the rest of the town were after me. I flew differently though, as if i were swimming in the air, breastroke manner. It felt so real. I felt the tension, the effort of the ‘flight’ as i fly up through the tiers of, i think, a residential unit. And i felt the pressure of hiding and getting chased. Can someone suggest what this all mean? Weird how you remember dreams hours after you wake up. Dreams, dreams, dreams. I wanted to dream something naughty, haha. I don’t dream such, but then again as a friend put it- maybe those were the the dreams i can’t recall at all. Talk about dreaming, it’s past twelve and i’m still awake. Not good.

Catatonic. Realizing i’m staring at the monitor quite a while, i think i’m going to turn on my dreamtube now and watch the next episode. You’ll never know, some greenbelt hottie might show up.. 

Now what. I was doing my laundry, a fraction of my laundry actually, and ideas on what to blog about came flooding in. And now i’m typing my way through a couple of posts, i just went blank. The internet cafe is quite dark and i can barely figure out what im actually typing. It helps too, that i can’t read the fucking letters on the buttons. I keep on typing typos. And the cafe per se.. it’s pretty fucking noisy with kids playing and talking all at once. Silly network games.

I just realized. I’ve got a knack on writing just about nothing. Hell. About the ideas, i was planning to tackle tidbits about addiction, talents, death, work, haunted offices, those things. Maybe some other time, maybe later, i don’t know.  My only objective right now, is to kill time and try to amuse myself because it’s sunday. It’s Sunday and i’m not in the office for a change.

One more week before i actually get a hold of my earnings and i already see it how it’ll get divided. The cellphone payment, the pawned gadgets, the allowance, other commitments, and i almost forgot, Pansol getaway with the faad peeps. If only the jokes were true.

My friends keep teasing me i’ve been earning twenty thousand a month. What a lie. Finally i can get myself cleared that no, i’m not living such an easy life. How i wish i do earn such amount. How i wish i can earn something more. But hell with money. Funny how people get stuck because of it.

Good thing i’m no longer that hooked to starbucks.

Funnier. I remember how the starbuck crew would greet me by name and actually writing it on my cup without asking me my name. Mark. They would write it like second nature. Honestly, i prefer it with a C. Marc. I sure miss going to starbucks. then again i feel i’m still starbroke. I had a number of commitments that i barely got the chance to attend to.

Funniest. That words just stop. I can never get used to myself. Unpredictable.

Mpossible ARtist Convict

The paranoid in me says, you can’t post just anything! Everybody will get to read it. Friends. On-line acquaintances. Even co-workers. I got most of them in my Friendster network. But nope, we live in a free world, buddy, and i dare avail my freedom of blogging. And detoxifying my head of all the nasty graphic experiences that has been my day, is my idea of blogging. ‘Sides, if my writing ever hurt anybody, it’ll be just me. And i ‘m quite the masochist. Pain, glorious pain. ( yeah right, says the migraine boy.)
And while we’re in the context of personality disorders and odd behaviours, have i ever mentioned: i once adored sigmund freud. One heck of a scientist/psychologist, that sigmund. Once, since his theories can’t be that accurate. For him, everything in our minds are networked to sex and subliminal sexual thoughts. No wonder i was amused, we had something in common. Marco, you naughty boy.
Seriously, tracing back to posting blogs, life’s best lived without shadows, like a beach on a sunny day. I therefore conclude: I will blog about just about everything around me that amuses me, annoys me, infuriates me, tickles my fancies, makes me laugh, makes me sob, makes me shout "i’m tired of hearing that!"*,drives me to do silly things. Because, this is my blog. That simple. And i get to destress a lot, writing things down and forgetting about it. Contrary to letting ideas race and swim my head all along. A warning though: this blog is not deigned for kids. And the childlike.

I’ve got a rush of ideas to write about already. Maybe i’ll write for a living. ne. i don’t think so.

*Hi max, keep it cool sir..

I just felt the need to post a couple of ‘journal’ entries right out of my ot notebook. Quite outdated and may not be that applicable anymore today, gusto ko ipost e, bakit ba. hhehe
Check out whether you’ll get lost within my silly train of thoughts. Pardon the typos and the occasional shifts of mode of speech

130205
Maybe you can fix your life a little. Decomplicate on a number of of things. Kelan? Do i have to change  perception of life? Do i have to spare my so-called principles?
The ‘equal’ thing? What’s being honest, and what’s being right. No sense perhaps, but i need an answer. Or answers.
Bisexuality = Bestiality? Di naman siguro.
Problem with seeing equals on everything, you get lost a little. Fuck.
Problem is, people are different. Or is it the other way around?
Control. Grab one for your life marco. You can’t be this lucky, as you think you are. You can’t be in control always because He is. Thanks po. I can’t handle all these all by myself. And though i feel alone most of the time, i know You’re there. Help me find my answers. Show me the right place po.
Consider yourself sick. Consider your days numbered.
What do you want to do today?
• get a frap
• see martian
• work work
• log-out
• get as much sleep as possible and dreams you can dream.
I’m tired of waiting here for you, i’m leaving you, but can’t
‘Hey ok lang ba talaga getting your number? I know you’re one hell of a busy bud, bet you can’t afford to accommodate an annoyance. This’ such a blur.
Is it ok to ask a couple of personal ones? Sex. Orientation? You in a relationship? This is awkward, but the hell can’t get you out of m’head. ‘Got me hooked (i figured) to Starbucks but i honestly like the products. And of course, the service.
Frustrations. I guess i can’t deny i have may.
Sitting here at Starbucks, thinking, wondering my head off. getting intimate with my music. stopping my bladder as i write as i don’t want to get up and want to get loose and write, watch the others. Fuck. Is this life. Fragrance.
  Kamusta na kaya si mdl.
  But i’m not going to txt her.
You know i admire you for being polite. Just like alex keeps me guessing.
Tell me i’m paranoid. Or just fucking tell me the truth.
Is this an addiction
    or a domino effect..
When things get a little clearer. It blurs three time more.
Mukha na ba kong tanga?

Pwede ba ‘yun? Magcocommit ka sa tatlong requirements, three different departments, gagawa isang to lang. Bakit hindi, kaya ko naman daw. But then again, bakit ganun. One after the other. How organized can you be? Ikaw lang ba nagpapagawa?
U know i have this structured  time table. I don’t know about you, but it make my work easier. then you’ll come along. You being my senior to me, i do jobs for you but not to the extent you’ll eat up all the time i can give. Fuck.

I guess i’m totally whacked out to even post these for everybody to see. But hell. I’m marc and tis’ my blog

See you guys at Bora!

The wonders of the internet, rather, the wonders of Friendster. Ha! Just when i thought i will simply be getting a glimpse of my account and uploading a couple of Puerto Galera pics.. Friendster managed to steal my atttention and kept me from getting the oh-so meager time left for me to doze off. Damn. I have to be up early. Not that i’m not happy extending my OT hours a tad.. ah, yup, i’m in the premises of work.  Weird. But there are times i just cherish the peace. The silence.. 

I remember now.. I was quite amused by the personality disorder test courtesy of fatutsinitantan (http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv). Hheh, But pretty much unsurprised most types turned out high, isa lang ang low. Whacko ol’ me.

Rewinding back, i was planning to get a quick shower (after crafting a couple of kiosk designs in Freehand) when suddenly something or someone whispered at the back of ears..

It’s quarter to two in the morning, guys.. can’t afford to scare myself now. basta hayun, ala  pala h2o. It was late, i’m stinking and i was hungry. ‘Grabbed a former midnight snack noole cup and here i am, making my way through an accustomed internet ‘wonder’ called the friendster blog. Honestly, the first time i ever heard of it, it sounded pretty much like booger.

Blog. Glob. Log. Bog.

Sorry, text twist attack. Anyway, it’s funny i finally got myself to create a blog. I barely have the time! Which bring me back to

I’m deeply sorry guys from the depths of my soul (yes, i have one) for not writing all the testimonials i owe you.. Now that i’m already working, and the stupid company i’m working for(does that makes me stupid?) barely have the internet facilities, it’s stupid of me to even think i can update this blog. Well, i can always try.

try sly fly sty my gulay! I missed writing stuffs. Not that i adore my own handwriting… Just that, i miss it. Actually, i miss a lot of things and a lot of folks. Is this real life, the life after school? Suddenly here comes work, who i just met a year ago, demanding she be the center of my universe. She actually almost tricked me.

What can’t kill you makes you stronger. But why take the risk?  I got my reasons, but that’s a story for another day.

Good health to everybody!