marc’s so-called blog

Finally another post. Final post that is.

Today is May15th and i just thought i’d formally dismiss this blog. Good bye ‘marc’s so-called blog’.

It’s has been a heck of a lifestyle. Mobile blogging. Making connections. Tempo disconnections. Rants. And raves. Thankies and more rants. Self-diagnoses. My one trusty vent. Almost.

As much as i miss writing and blogging per se, here comes a realization. I’m gonna live my life and perhaps blog a li’l about it. Not live for the so-called blog. I had my share, my five-minutes and that’s gonna be it in here.

I’ll be on my way searching for my new cheese. Good luck to me and God bless thee readers and everybody else who’s been part of this paperback attempt.

The most powerful element in advertising is the truth. Bill Bernbach

Jan31
Starstrucked. I really cant say but it does feel a bit high talking to ria bautista of paramita and getting my album signed. Well, then again their music’s been part of my daily life, daily playlist, that is. Fer that, thanks paramita! It doesnt really matter whether i’m currently feeling what the songs say or not, i just love their music. Funnee, funny, fannee. I remember the second time i chanced upon ria, ’twas at enchanted kingdom’s anchor’s away. Still cant believe i shouted her name like that, haha. This time around though, here at saguijo, i brought my tala copy. Hehe, since i bought an original, i of course demand signatures. Aliw. Next stop - drip..

Talk about chances, clem castro of O and L graced the gig. Humble guy i must say.. Well, i finally caught a day dream cycle gig. Hmm, missed one that includes narda. Narda, hope to know you next time. Long live indie and opmusic!

Tonight i heard nancydrool, a bit of fancy cakes, flying adapters, of course paramita, and getting ready is ddc. It’s oh inday prod, no wonder the ladies ruled tonight.

Sure got glimpses of beautiful creatures(from the bathroom mirror included), im here at saguijo, what can u expect.

Smiles are contagious, go infect some today.

Of course, i also introduced myself to tiffany, of student disco and terno records, since i always see her around gigs.

Anecdote

i once took this personality color test and i got blue. Funny it refers to ‘calm’. Haha, now if only my officemates would agree..!

Sabi ko s sarili ko kagabi, im gonna lessen my expenses. No more taxicab rides as much as possible. Gonna drink some starbucks alternative. You know, those stuffs. It’s quite odd im tightening my belt, not really to save up, but simply to be able to spend more. Im still very much single and unattached, yet got lotsa ‘bills’ to pay.

Speaking of bills.. Feb14! I smashed my credit limit, naw! Not in some fancy date.. But i did, i just did, can’t believe i used up credit equal to a mobile phone that fast. Boo hoo but no regrets, nope.

feb21
wassup?

Finally got my starbucks planner last feb2nd, somehow.. I’m quite having second thoughts. It seems so nice to actually bear my handwriting. Then again, blogging on this blog has never been as exciting as i started.

mar2

Hi-ya JournalWoman! Hope you had a terrrific birthday!

…

‘Finally ran out of things to write. But you know what? Never had i been so eclectic and excited than these past few months this early of 2006. Things are happening so sudden, in a good way, and things are fast changing- whether they’ll greatly affect my future, idunno. But for sure a wee bit change in lifestyle and working habits. Sana. Things open up once you get your toes moving, don’t you agree. There seems to be so much to expect if you only think positive and learn to use devices. Nothing really special, maybe ’tis just me looking from a diff angle. And yup, people are fascinating. None can thouroughly explain the impact of a smile.

Jan15 wee hours

This is all so freaky. So here i am sitting on one of saguijo chairs, yeah after what seems like an eternity. I was thinking.. maybe later after this gig i’ll finally burn my ‘i cant’ list. Drip was infront, when beng calma, its vocalist, did a very outstanding version of ‘kwarto’ by sugarfree. It’s like ’swak!’. Such timing. Let the past drip its remaining pain and frustrated hopes. I hope and i think, i’ll be ok tom. Hey, drip’s album’s out. Let’s go check tomorrow.

Oh k, it cris ramos’ birthday! Hope she had a blast. I just dont know if she’s aware of her impact as a person and opm supporter is, she’s doing a great job, no doubt about it.

Tomorrow or make that later, im just going to remind me to stop slacking around and finally go check megamall. JB store’s sale. Branded <store with band shirts! How cooler can that get??>. Maybe dropby music one and cyberzone. Of course, consider that narnia flick. ‘Hope i wake up on time, haha. ‘Hope tomorrow’s as busy and meaningful as the former.

By the way, it’s revolver night, no wonder there’s a terrific line up. Too bad i missed pedicab. Yup, sulit still, nevertheless.  pedicab, brownbeat all stars, drip, itchyworms, too late the hero, typecast, narda- what?! Narda played n daw! Shitty, sayang naman..

Oh well, ‘anung meron ang taong happy?’ Know that jingle from a teaser commercial? Wala lang, i was singing that all day long, sabay, itchyworms made it pala. This is freaky bigtime.

11:30 am

I think i got drunk. Two sanmig lights (one courtesy of ryan- thanks ry!), a bottle of smirnoff, some calamares and some chicken croquetas. I should still be sleeping right now, but then again, ‘got to go home. Home home not home base. Mom needs her money.

…
I’m such an ass in terms of handling my earnings. ‘Not regretting the stuffs i used ‘em for, just that tis quite unbelievable.. In two days i used up such amount. And nope, the figure shall remain, undisclosed.

Harassed. Pretty much the word for today.

Uh yeah, make that ‘word for the week’.

kwarto
maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
na punong puno ng galit at damit
mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
nakaraang di na pwedeng pagpaliban
mga liham ng nilihim kong pa-ibig
at litrato ng kahapong maligalig
dahan dahan kong inipon
ngunit ngayon kailangan nang itapon

di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon…

may jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
inaalikabok na sa lungkot
may panyong ilan ulit nang niluhaan
isang patak sa baway beses na
tayo’y nasaktan

di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon…

alaala ng lumuluhang kahapon
dahan dahan ko na ring kinakahon
natagpuan ko na ang tunay na ligaya
lumabas ako ng kwarto’s naron sya

magpapaalam na sa iyo ang aking kwarto

There, the 2005 song covered by beng calma last saturday. Reading thru the lyrics, aint really entirely my song afterall. But ’sure cremated my ‘i cant list’ along guijo that night. Symbolic weekend, chronic week. It’s as if i ate my dessert ahead the main entree. Uh Well, c’est la vie.

Narda, narda, narda. Missed the gig, got the tracks, cool.

Jan08

So this is what i’ve been thinking. Felt damned naked as i slowly realize my predicament: everybody in the company im working for is aware i was downright pissed off at romeo bayani that i didnt went to work for a day and a half.

Surprise! And though i aint got a dot of sympathy for that stinker, it’s really unfair to put my absence’s (or rumored resignation, ithink) blame on him. I was absent for a personal reason. Period. So personal i cant file the reason. And though i lost an ounce of excitement going to work because romeo et al indeed pissed me off, my being absent got nuthin to do with it. So go ahead deduct those days, i wont mind.

Of course, a two-day salary will hurt the pocket, but that’s the reasonable deed.

Never too late for a new year resolution: Never put too much of your trust on others other than God and yourself. My God and myself. I’m always been too trusty and easily get comfortable with others without me realising it. I must refrain asking help and opinions from people whose real intention is to make a joke of you. Wisecracker. You want me to deliver the Punchline?? As i’ve said, people are utterly perfect. For the record, i commit to some changes in my life and so-called appearance because i wanted to. My decisions, my life, me. I dont think you’re trying to help (the likes of you?). Spare me your commentaries please.

And yes, they were drunk. Lame. I was drunk that october 04 yet i was well aware im getting in his nerves then. Neither my caffeine nor your pink gin’s to blame. Then again, it’s of no use, it’s no secret im working in a place where everybody have to say something about the other, else they’ll die. And as a second rule, one should mock a heated argument, read: ‘original’ lines, every other hour simply because it is hilarious. Way of life. Just perfect.

I’m really quite embarassed the officers are considering my relocation (for the nth time), thanks ‘but cant think of a more comfortable place. ‘Sides, really was a petty stuff and …

[ok, the public part ends here]

.
now on the lighter side of things

I‘ve started reading chicken soup for the soul. (Yes sir, started another book without finishing the last, whatever it was). I think twas the first book that i was able to borrow. I dunno, i guess it is indeed a good read and aint recommended for the anti-mushy crowd. The articles aint that lengthy yet deliver so much heart especially those concerning kids’ dialogues. And i was just reading thru less a quarter of the book. Touché.  Maybe i’ll post a few short articles to balance the negativity here, hehe.

Honest. I’m really eager to flash a smile and share a laugh. But of course, not a devilish smile and a contagious laughter demeaning other’s ego. I had a good start this year, and im not gonna give up on that now.

Whether you think you can or you think can’t, you’re right!

> It’s such a cold january. Somehow it’s comforting and not at all freezing.

Terrible post, at least it still has periods. Hahaha. Fix this next time, i’m kinda in a hurry. And yep, you dun have to read thru it.

Dec27 Tama ba? Thanks to bluetooth technology i can easily mobile blog again. Ehrm, point to rejoice? Not exactly. Never really retrieved my enthusiasm to blog again. And so, why the fuck am i blogging on my phone right this moment? Censored stuffs. Naughty? Nah. Really a terrible predicament to write bout something you cant discuss. Okay, fine. ‘Defense mechanism.’ Hmm. ‘Been a helluva long time since i’ve posted stuffs in my blog. Doesnt really make a world of difference, so tis ok. Sometimes it’s just tiring to review whatever happened to me or whoever. Clap your hands, faeries exists. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Get your spirits high. Poisoned. Cant really feel if i ever want the antidote. Not now, not later. Yet- cant get away. Stuck in retrograde. Dec30 Desperate, alan? Pardoñez for that’s the silliest thing said to me this whole year. But of course i dun mind. And am certainly not in love. Ive told you, im skeptic. Nevertheless, that’s what i want for myself right now. Yesterday was actually an adult swim. Sinspots, that’s the term for those places. Supposedly, i should’ve enjoyed and had a helluva time. Then again, i’ve always figured nude girls trying to be erotic are lame subjects for voyeurs. The country should improve its employment rate, i think. And i cant comprehend why some people spend so much on those stuffs. Plus, the idea of paid sex is extra dirty. Not that we tried it, you perv. By the way, my congratulations goes to kuya dan and cris who just had their hawaiin themed wedding at pansol laguna. ‘Happy for you guys. But not so excited with these long weekends, er holidays. Days were so irregular than usual, energy level’s so low since i cant hit the gym. Idunno though if my less liquor drinking is good. Dec31 Bummer. My nonstop messaging expired just when i was sending a picmsg to a wagon of people- eating up my remaining load. I’m load broke, sheesh. Ok, new year’s up ahead- might as well start prioritizing… Too much fuss when new year enters, my suggestion.. Just freaking do it. For one, am not gonna plan the tiniest details, gonna expect a few surprises too. Maybe add some of my own, idunno. ’such a stupid conclusion. But I just dont want anything to do with them. I even lost it with music, photography, friends, work. They’re just freaking everywhere. Suddenly, there no one much to trust and share moments. Stop it. I dun wanna hear those names. I dun want anything to do with them. Trust. Funny word. I dun spread much words to folks, but somehow not easily surprised when words do come around. It’s a pathetic world, rejoice. Happy new year then.

The easiest way to end any predicament is to blame the self. Because it’s a dead end. Period. Fin. And you really don’t have to go way too far to blame someone else. Bullshit, i say. Predicament ended yet unresolved.

Nope, don’t go out blaming your mess to someone else. Just that, life’s really simple. Decomplicate. We don’t need all the trash we hear. Nor the trash we think of what other’s thinking of us. Pointless. Nothing’s true until an honest two-way communication comes up.

Here’s my predicament as of late: i psycho-analyze myself two-thirds of the time. BS, huh? Well, that’s my predicament/ conclusion. Whaddaheck, that’s me. Another thing, i’m honest to a fault. I try to be quite transparent yet folks don’t seem obliged to carry on the drill.

You know what, i was a shy kid. A terribly shy kid. Still quite softspoken, but cracked out my shell a few years back. I realized, the world doesn’t care a dime on what i say. But ’tis worth it. I made a few people smile and i kinda liked talking my head out. Or writing, blogwise. What i say, they’re not guaranteed to be true. But most of the time, they are honest opinions from this specific point of view, my pov.

But kindly, please don’t mess with my mind. I am a terrible thinker. It take so much time to get an ish out my noggin.

An observation: if you follow what’s right, you’re labeled as an idealist. But idealists are usually seen as modern dreamers with negative connotation. If you don’t abide with the ideal, you are a cunning asshole. Where would you fit in? Thing is, that’s other’s POVs of you. Why bother if it’s not gonna produce pleasant results.

My real predicament? I need a boost with my excitement gauge. No, not at all impotent, silly. I think motivation’s a synonym for it. Nothing much excites me, pretty drained, but at the very least, finally got rid of unnecessary emos. ‘Yun nga lang, starting from scratch again. Cheesy or mushy, but i really need to re-love the self i lost and recently found. Can’t aim to be happy if i can’t love me totally. Then the rest will follow suit. Egotistic fool.

Gigs. Indie rock. Saguijo. Starbucks. Gimiks. Pizza. Coffee. I thought i’d never outgrow these. But then I thought i’d never blog again.

nonstop txtng, any1?

Txtnonstop50, send to 2870. Easy enough. Gave me the chance to learn thru sms quotes and people, rather my globe subscribers. Funny, touché, educational, sweet nothins.

Life’s a text message, don’t forget to scroll down the bottom. Else, you’ll miss the punchline. Life’s a text message, the more messages sent, the more messages you’ll receive and in turn reforward again. Right, let’s pay things forward.

And one moment to halt and pray.

.

.

.

i figured, hmm, i dun hav to blog everythin’

But what the hey, sure bet you were curious what you missed. Silly me.

• Been to enchanted kingdom, went gokarting and stuff, chanced upon ria of paramita

• Missed a trio of saguijo nights, imago, paramita, barbie/join the club– i dunno what i was thinking

• Been living a secret life for a month now i think.. since i didnt specify- still a secret right? Whatever!

• Had a new ‘do

• Seen Harry Potter Goblet of Fire

• Thinking of how to survive the Christmas Season

• Got hooked to mobile messages until no more sane messages to forward

• Secured a passport

• Ched-authenticated some papers

• Kept falling asleep on my chair, damn, stupid energy level i have

• I had my first card usage, not really exciting

• Realized Brownman’s Maling Akala was an E-head original

Well, well, well, Tragic Boredom if you ask me…

Have a nice day people of earth..!

Nothing happens overnight. They happen in an instant. ‘Just a matter of individual difference how the events will sink in. Pick up where you left off. The quest calls you back. Move it, adventurer!

A dive. A fall. A jump. Failure. A descent to oblivion? A rush towards the center. Nature called, heed.

Sometimes people get too high, they break away from the orbit. I had too much space already. So. ‘Finding my track back.

I miss my enthusiasm since graduating from college. I want that me.. ‘Found it.

It’s about time.

Nagpapanting ang tenga ko gayong wala naman akong narinig. Kutob, haka-haka, ginuguniguni.

Tama ba na sabihan ang sariling hibang?

Let’s put it this way. ‘Always been a terrible thinker. And a critic. Nobody escapes my thoughts. Even i myself isnt spared. So there’s where the usual problems lie. I’ve always been too hard on me. Yep, blame it on the stupid self. Harsh. Issues, who would date a guy so honest with his shortcomings? I sought improvement, actually ’still in the process– that’s why i was oh-so confident time was my ally. Ho-hum.

And then came friendster. Blogging. Tell me, do all of you really believe you’re getting the ideas of every blog you read? Does the blogger’s words really define him? For all we know, you still are a stranger and his words, only He can really tell. Given we all write in the same language, there will always be this barrier of misunderstanding. Talking is still the best form of communication. But then you read it in a blog. Whatever.

One more. Yes, i’m fond of calling myself words like insane, whacko etc but somehow, it doesnt feel the same when these word are thrown at you. Pain and mockery is much bearable when self-inflicted you know.

I managed to register to a nonstop messaging. Amusing activity. Ate a lot of my time sans spending. Learned a few. Said a lot. Asked a lot. Made so many folks surprised. A very welcomed distraction. But then it expires two days from now. Sorry folks, i can only text so much.

Disillusion. Darn it, i’m twenty-ish, yup- young to some yet too old to actually recognize such word. Such reality. On a number of aspects.

Eccentric. Just like this blog.

Assessment. Funny i can give out an excellent advice while me, comes my turn cant take my own words. Ahh, blame it on my being human. Poor excuse. Really sickening to admit, but i failed myself so much lately.

Am quite bored. Maybe i should rewrite my pics’ captions for a change, what do you think?

Think of happy thoughts so you’d fly, be a peter pan even for a day.

…

October 26

What can’t kill you makes you stronger. This thought is starting to get funny. ‘Been through a lot the past two months. Unkind two months. In a number of aspects. Somehow, these things i’ve assessed as problems- they are not making me any stronger as of yet. Not even wiser. What these days did- shook my foundation and am starting to veer away from the thoughts and principles i’ve lived the past half of my life.

Such negativity. Am no longer in pain. Numb like there’s no more heart to hurt. Yes, the past and disillusionment has eaten me alive. Somehow, admiting such doesnt make me feel better anymore. Should i fight for something that no longer makes sense or give up what ever is left worth fighting for, for the mere reason, it wasnt my fight? (Of course, you dont have any idea what i’m babbling about)

As always, i’ve contemplated. Sought answers. Prayed. Shame i am still filled with negativity.

Middle life crisis? Bullshit. Spent so much time getting comfortable. Focused on the mediocre. Wanted to do things my way and thought i can handle everything alone.

Then friends stayed. ‘Delighted. ‘Thankful. Somehow.

My trust betrays me. I realized, i’m never been that confident about ol’ me. My past personal concept haunts me and am bound to damnation if i lose control.

‘Keep your emotions down and stay cool.’

I thought, after all the things that passed, i don’t have to remind myself of that line.

Reality check marco: you don’t always get what you want. You can’t possibly know everything either.

What is it do i want, then? Right now, i am short of words.

‘Got to keep things moving, kinetic. One chance to decide and live with the outcome. And there’s no refund. No promos either.

Why can’t i act on what i know..

What’s the life you want? Er, do i get to choose?

Well people do change. ‘Just have to refrain from being stubborn and seemingly naive so i wont be left behind. Life bites and it leaves bitemarks. Unsightly ones. Don’t you just adore one-liners..

I am eccentric. Egotistic. Self-absorbed. Absurd. What are you doing in my blog then? Because reading these makes you feel better, admit it or not.

Now do you all believe i am such? Is work to blame or it’s all in the f*cking think tank?

Life’s a joke. Just can’t laugh along right now.

Later, i’d go figure the punchline. Then i’d laugh the hardest. ‘Tis my sideshow anyways.

…a contradiction. No matter how honest my thoughts be, can’t seem to do me any good. I hate.. my noggin. My actions as of late contradicts my intentions and aspirations. Big prob. No prob. Whatever. Nothing can spell out my irrational behaviour. I noticed, i was already pushing them away- thinking distance can hasten the time. And time, they say, heals. Do you believe that? They didnt, not even in mockery, said what i ‘wanted’ them to say. Leaving me.. more confused.

"tama n, lubayan m n kmi ni dz."

"ayaw na kta mkita, mkausap."

I thought, if i’d read those lines in my mobile phone monitor, i’ll feel much better.

I am bitter. Now how many of you guys can say that? I just hate the fact i cant act on the very same predicament i’ve managed to assess. Dimwit. For a moment or two, i wanted to disappear. Die. The recurring thoughts had taken its toll on me. But, apparently, anvils don’t just drop from nowhere. And you dont always die when you dont fasten the seatbelt. Silly me.

For something so beautiful as love, yeah mushy stuff, ugly stuffs like getting hurt is just around the corner. I bought a dazzling album by paramita called tala. Out of sheer curiousity and fascination. ‘Heard them once at revolver prod. Nice, very nice album. And geez, i was right, depressing addictive stuffs. At least ‘got off that james blunt bug sting for a moment. Hell, track two finally made my pending tears roll on. Contemplated. For what seems a minute. God, i’m sorry.

‘Guess cant blame them if i got them boggled. I’m just… really… at a lost. But can you blame me? I hate being stupid. I felt extra stupid. I’m twenty two, yet still a rookie in such stuffs.

My mistake. I wanted, at least, the old us. Then again, too late. Or is it..

If this is a start of a chain reaction.. i’m caught off guard unlike you. I was already dependent of the ol’ us. Drastic changes came. Funny, i was, i felt i was better off alone before i met you guys. Dizzy kid on a wild swing. I never intended to bring up nasty tidbits in our past, i just thought i better be cleaning my hard drive. I might need the space.

You were the best friend i never had. I never even planned or dreamed working with you. But life got such humor, i can still remember us bickering when discussing a project at a food court with the others. But then we clicked. I dont know if it’s the same with you. Well, i thought so.

You on the other hand, were too good to be true. For such a young age, accomplished, and fascinating. And was always around. I used to sneak out, squeeze the time table, just to get moments with you. To good to be true for him. Kayo or not, does it matter. It just so nonverbally obvious you dont want me around. And the infamous ‘cge sb m e.’

Now tell me. What is so wrong with that one message i sent out? That maybe, my ultimate purpose is actually, to be that ‘obstacle’ that you guys would overcome to make your bond stronger and closer. Sweet, ey? At one point, all these are working so well for your admirable pics.

Yes. Sinasaktan ko lang sarili ko. But everything’s got a reason. That must be it. It’s a game of odd man out. Am just a mere consequence of their noble cause.

Believe it or not, yesterday’s situation started with me saying ‘i really hope you’re happy now. Kc sayang naman. It’s worth all the trouble, ayt’

And he’s full of glee. Forgive this pettiness. I’m tired of it all as well.

Keyword: Photography

Three words for me from friends: coffee. torete. deep.

Forgive me, for i do not know what’s happening. Then i remember, i dont have to know, for now at least. God, this brain… forgive me, i just hate it- workaholic thinker.

missed

‘Missed a Saguijo night. The usual admit one roster plus updharmadown and some more. Sayang. But never really want to go there alone. Who’d go then? Anco planned an early tagaytay trip for everybody. ‘Really hard to refuse that fellow when he do invite folks somewhere. Like, i’m expected to be there. And i guess, i would go. Although, this definitely mean, i have to enslave my self to work on this uncanny early sunday morn to produce something i just been advised of. Ok lang. Things will turn out ok. Sorry na nga lang, i wont be present later when the client come.

Ho-hum. I really should refrain from blogging. Nobody would mind reading these drivel. Ah, i forgot, i’m just amusing m’self.

‘Hope this espresso shots can keep me awake til the van drives by after i finish my layout chore. Hmm, Year of the Dog, i’ll be twenty-four next year! That’s almost half way to fifty, darn it.

Year of the Dog folks are (supposedly) :  honest, loyal, discreet, leaders, sharp tongued, financialy carefree yet stable, notorious worriers, stubborn,

Carousel: this song, ria bautista ang galing n’yo. LSS na naman to.

Finally got tired of blogging. Ironic, i’m blogging about this, straight from the loony bin. Finally got tired blogging about those recurring thoughts almost around a month now. Hey, you think, if i steadily blog on those saGuijo nights, it’s a different thing? I dunno really. Maybe. Maybe not.

Ok, saGuijo nights it is. It’s different lately. Although same cool place of music. Maybe a matter of perspective. Although i never really been alone in gigs lately. One time, sir max was there with his ol’ revolver production buds. Nice folks. Excellent  line up as well- paramita, up dharma down, radioactive sago projects and more mostly indie bands. I even get to go home with a cd sampler with four songs. Just remembered, any of you guys know the tagalog word for carousel? I dont think it’s chubibo, ayt. That night, probably just the second time i didnt finished the whole line up. And probably the first night i gobbled on two baluts. Then, may yosi pala si manong… I already bought a dunhill pack(since it’s chards brand i thought) Well, whaddyaknow, i was already walking away from the bar when i remembered they were selling those revolver shirts.  I made up my mind and traced back my steps. Just for fun, and for keeps- ’sides sir max, revolver’s resident artist did the design. Kinda creative ‘evolve’ concept.

And then last night. I made up my mind and decided to get some booze at guijo. Orange and lemon’s turn. Surpise! Sir nelson was around and with his girl. The music kinda lighten up things. Sorta. And the crowd was ultimately delighted to hear pinoy big bro’s themesong.

Ho-hum.

See, nothing exciting to write. Things at the office aint an option either. Smoking issue, no, not really that bad. Drinking, neither. Hmmm.. Although anthony finally got into fcb- congrats, girl! Madz is almost off to Dubai- Good luck po. Things are moving and folks are moving up. NIce nice. Aileen’s fine with her exhibits as ever- kewl. Franco is so into ana. Alan’s doing great with his job.

And marco.. same old, same old. Athough aint really feeling well in lotsa aspects. Bad sorethroat. Tired and quite glum. Sheesh, can’t even go to the doc to secure a med certificate.

Hey, i was browsing, reading blogs and the likes, just found a post from isthy (isthy, sorry and thanks i kinda borrowed it)

It happens in a flash. A trigger goes off. Something snaps. When everything you believed in turns out to be the total opposite of the truth; a lie; only pretend –it may be only in your head, it may be real, but nevertheless, the faith is gone, the magic is lost, and all you have is disappointment of the possibilities.. comes in the what-might-have-been’s and the ache from knowing that nothing will ever be the same again. - disillusioned by isthy

Wala lang po. ‘Just found it fascinating. I somehow can relate to some parts. It’s nice though.

Funny there are just somethings you cant share, just a matter of circumstances.

Funny you know the right thing to do, the truth, but you do things otherwise.

Or siguro nga ako lang yun. That’s my ‘natural’.

My officemate chard got bitten by the james blunt bug, here’s the song for reference:

you’re beautiful james blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I’m sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won’t lose no sleep on that,
‘Cause I’ve got a plan.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
F**king high,
And I don’t think that I’ll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don’t know what to do,
‘Cause I’ll never be with you.
You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.
You’re beautiful, it’s true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

‘Got mixed emo on this. Beautiful song, just that there are stuffs in it i just, i dunno if the word’s ‘hate’. There’s something about songs like it that’s addictive- that’s why chard’s been playing it in ‘repeat’. Kinda wondering though, whether ‘blunt’ is really his last name.

Chard’s advice the manly thing to do now is accept defeat. Perhaps ‘got some truths in it, pero was it all a game? Someone loses, someone wins? It never sinked in me that way, though. And i really cant take others’ words for my predicament. I’m at war yes, to my own self. Thing is, if i win, i still lose. From where i’m standing, can’t see anything that’d cheer me up. And i cant get my legs to move.

Ho-hum. It’s a sale-load weekend– i ‘m supposed to be gleefully shopping.